(Honorable and Dishonorable Media Mentions).
The Chicago Tribune's Eric Zorn was nice enough to mention the web site TWICE in his blog (check out his July 23 and 31 entries. He also told us the book holds a place of honor in the "demented" Zorn household, along with The L.L. Bean Cataog parody, Items from our Catalog, which was one of our inspriations.
Larry Potash, who has featured items from the book during the WGN Morning News, also quotes one of the authors in a Larry's World column.
Chris Whitehead was intriqued by our newest failed product, PreCards (see images below). He gave them a mention in his Casual Friday column in the Chicago Sun-Times.
The Bad Idea Catalog
by Chris Bittler & Dave Markov
$12.95 paperback, 112 Pages; Pub. Date October 2003
ISBN: 0-7407-3819-4
BAD IDEA CATALOG AUTHOR DROPS IN ON STAN & TERRY AT WCKG
Chris Bittler, co-author of the hilarious Bad Idea Catalog, will make a rare in-studio appearance this Wednesday evening,
Nov. 2, on Slippin’ Into Darkness with Stan Lawrence and Terry Armour on WKCG Radio (105.9 FM Chicago). Bittler should be on at
around 8 p.m. and figures to be thrown out soon thereafter.
Bittler, a.k.a. Mister Genius, will be hawking the abovementioned tome as well as discussing the curious rash on his thigh. If time allows, Stan and Terry may also
give away copies of the book to unwary listeners.
Slippin’ Into Darkness is a free-wheeling talkfest hosted by the Chicago Tribune’s Terry Armour and noted know-it-all Stan
Lawrence. Their show airs 7 to 9 p.m. weeknights and noon to 3 p.m. Saturdays on 105.9 FM WCKG in Chicago.
It can also be heard streaming on the web at www.stanandterry.com.
The Bad Idea Catalog is a compendium of ill-conceived, dangerous and just-plain-stupid products you can’t really buy because they
don’t really exist. Imaginary products include Coin Goo, New Job Smell and the Acid-of-the-Month Club. The book is available at
fine bookstores everywhere, as well as www.badideacatalog.com and www.amazon.com. Chris Bittler is certified, bonded and fully vested.
# # #
[A GREAT INTERVIEW: Co-authors CHRIS BITTLER and DAVE MARKOV have been livening up radio and television shows all Fall with goofball
product descriptions from The Bad Idea Catalog To schedule an interview, contact us at us@badideabooks.com.
[Top]
The Bad Idea Catalog
by Chris Bittler & Dave Markov
$12.95 paperback, 112 Pages; Pub. Date October 2003
ISBN: 0-7407-3819-4
MISTER GENIUS DEMONSTRATES MORE BAD IDEAS AT MIDWEST LITERARY FESTIVAL
Chris Bittler, author of the hilarious Bad Idea Catalog, will be demonstrating his newest dubious product—PREcards—this Saturday
and Sunday, Sept. 10 and 11, at the Midwest Literary Festival in downtown Aurora.
“PREcards are designed for people who love to send postcards but never go anywhere,” Bittler, a.k.a. Mister Genius, explained. “Our two
most popular are, ‘Paris: Wish I Were Here,’ and ‘Greetings from Home!’”
Of course, it’s hard to verify the product’s true success since, like all the items in The Bad Idea Catalog, PREcards don’t really exist.
Still, that won’t stop Mister Genius from demonstrating Coin Goo, New Job Smell, The Revolting Coffee Mug and others as he signs copies of the hilarious catalog parody. He will
be at the Author’s Tent on Galena Blvd. from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Sunday. Be sure to stop by and wake him up.
For more information, and to view sample pages of The Bad Idea Catalog, visit www.badideacatalog.com or www.amazon.com.
The 3rd Annual Midwest Literary Festival in Historic Downtown features a wide array of activities for the whole family, including over
50 authors, book signings, panel discussions, culinary events, a how-to tent, children’s area, art festival, food vendors and much more.
Featured authors include Stephen J. Cannell and Tony-nominated playwright and producer Samm Art Williams. For more information,
visit MidwestLiteraryFestival.com
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The Bad Idea Catalog
by Chris Bittler & Dave Markov
$12.95 paperback, 112 Pages; Pub. Date October 2003
ISBN: 0-7407-3819-4
HO, HO, NO!! 10 BAD GIFT IDEAS FOR THE HOLIDAYS
Tis the season of good will – and bad gifts. Each year, a blizzard of ugly sweaters, inedible food and inappropriately practical holiday presents casts a pall over what should be a festive holiday.
This BAD GIFTING, as experts call it, accounts for everything from overcrowded store return counters to your brother not passing the gravy as quickly as you’d like.
As a public service, the authors of the new humor book, THE BAD IDEA CATALOG, have compiled a list of presents you should NOT be giving this season. (Having written a catalog parody filled with imaginary products like Recycled Staples, Ant Jerky and Mexican Jumping Beer, these guys qualify as bad gift experts.)
10. HOMEMADE GIFTS. These gifts say: I thought about you, but not enough to spend any money.
9. PETS. It’s the gift that keeps on taking. If you must give one, make sure it’s small enough to flush down the toilet.
8. DISCONTINUED TECHNOLOGY. Sure the price is great, but nobody wants a Commodore 64 computer, even if it does come with a free copy of Pong.
7. THINGS YOU WANT. Remember the Simpsons episode when Homer gave Marge a bowling ball for her birthday? That’s what we’re talking about.
6. INADEQUATE CASH. Note to grandparents: remember to adjust the amount of currency you put in those cards for age and inflation.
5. ART. Everybody has different tastes. You may give Uncle Ray a Monet lithograph only to discover he prefers Poker Playing Dogs.
4. YOUNG TECHNOLOGY FOR OLD PEOPLE. Don’t give senior citizens any piece of technology newer than a tape recorder unless there is a child present to help them figure it out.
3. RELIGIOUS GIFTS. The Weismans won’t appreciate a set of Joseph and Mary bookends any more than you would a free membership to the Association Society of Pagans.
2. OFF-COLOR T-SHIRTS. Your grandmother doesn’t want a four-letter word on her chest when she’s power walking at the mall.
1. SOCKS. The all-time champ of bad gifts. Nothing says I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU like a 3-pack of sweat socks.
ON THE OTHER HAND...The Bad Idea Catalog makes an ideal gift for anyone. It’s a hilarious catalog parody featuring dangerous, ill-conceived and just-plain-stupid products like New Job Smell, Inbred Kittens and Lava-in-a-Box. Available at all major book retailers. Check it out at www.badideacatalog.com.
[A GREAT INTERVIEW: Co-authors CHRIS BITTLER and DAVE MARKOV have been livening up radio and television shows all Fall with goofball
product descriptions from The Bad Idea Catalog To schedule an interview, contact us at us@badideabooks.com.
mroberts@amuniversal.com.]
[Top]
The Bad Idea Catalog
by Chris Bittler & Dave Markov
$12.95 paperback, 112 Pages; Pub. Date October 2003
ISBN: 0-7407-3819-4
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN AN OVERWORKED COPYWRITER GOES BAD?
THE BAD IDEA CATALOG.
The 112-page tome is a rather strange catalog parody featuring hundreds of fatally-flawed products that “you can’t really buy because they don’t really exist.” Of course, when the items include Mexican Jumping Beer, Ant Jerky and Frictionless Shoes, it’s probably just as well.
A good (or bad) example is Inbred Kittens. The faux-catalog describes them as “hours of painful fun” and reminds the customer to “dispose of [them] in a responsible manner.” And goodness knows what perils would await the real-life purchaser of Lava-in-a-Box.
Of course, not all The Bad Idea Catalog products are dangerous. Some are just plain stupid. Like the Vice Presidential Trading Cards. Or the Horse Shoes, which are leather wingtips for your favorite thoroughbred. Or the Static Electricity Toupee.
Others would no doubt be successful products, if only they were possible. Like New Job Smell, which promises to give veteran employees the same false sense of optimism they had when they were new hires. “Phrases like ‘competitive salary’ and ‘teamwork’ will take on positive meanings,” says the copy.
The Bad Idea Catalog is the step-brainchild of Chris Bittler, a longtime copywriter and self-proclaimed “flawed-genius.”
Bittler, who has written copy for such diverse retailers as Reliable Office Supply, Spiegel and International Male, says he came up with the idea during a very busy freelance assignment.
“I had been working hard for days on a load of very detail-oriented copy and I just snapped,” Bittler says. “I started spinning out copy for all these insane, imaginary products.
“The first three I wrote were Coin Goo, The Indestructible Toothpick and Wally’s Pet Attractor. They seemed funny to me at the time. Of course, I was completely fried.”
Bittler then started adding some of the product ideas he had come up with over the years. Ideas which seemed good at first, but turned out to have serious down sides.
“The Sill Grill was one of my worst ideas,” he remembers. “It’s a barbeque grill you can hang out your apartment window. A nice idea, until you picture hot coals dropping on pedestrians and noxious fumes blowing back into your living room.”
When his freelance assignment ended, Bittler went home and churned out the rest of the book. He also had help from his writing partner, Dave Markov.
Together, Bittler and Markov have written jokes and scripts for the likes of John Candy, Byron Allen and others. They also contributed several pie and seltzer sketches to The Bozo Show (which is ending its 40-year run on WGN-TV this year).
It was Markov who came up with the Bowling Ball Shelf and Carpet Circles (“the flaw is obvious to some, subtle to others--it’s the others we’re after”).
Although those products–as well as the Solar-Powered Umbrella and Subliminal Dog Training Tapes-- are not really for sale, catalog itself is. It’s available at book stores and at www.BadIdeaCatalog.com.
“I just hope the book itself is a better idea than the products it contains,” Bittler adds.
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The Bad Idea Catalog
by Chris Bittler & Dave Markov
$12.95 paperback, 112 Pages; Pub. Date October 2003
ISBN: 0-7407-3819-4
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY
CHRIS BITTLER AND DAVE MARKOV have been writing comedy and such since the 1980's, when they met on the stage of the Night Light Players comedy troupe in Chicago. There, they helped write and perform numerous comedy revues and a handful of critically-acclaimed musical comedies, including The Importance of Being Esther and Kings Are Us.
They were soon writing pie and seltzer sketches for WGN-TV’s long-running Bozo's Circus. They also kept busy creating corporate and educational videos and materials–as well as radio commercials–in Chicago before to moving to Los Angeles in 1989.
Once in California, Chris and Dave contributed jokes for such shows as Comic Strip Live, Primetime Pets and The Byron Allen Show. They wrote for the animated show Camp Candy and cowrote the feature film, Raging Angels, starring Diane Ladd and Shelley Winters. In addition to writing The Bad Idea Catalog, the two are currently developing feature film projects. Dave was also a staff writer for the infamous Love Connection.
Chris has done freelance copywriting for such diverse catalogs as Spiegel, Reliable Office Supply, International Male, Edward Don and JC Whitney. This experience, combined with a penchant for thinking up fatally-flawed inventions, led to The Bad Idea Catalog.
Both Chris and Dave are native Chicagoans, Chris growing up in Southwest suburban Hometown and Dave on the Southwest side and then in Lombard. Dave attended high school at Luther South and Glenbard South before earning his B.A. at Concordia College in River Grove, Illinois. Chris attended Oak Lawn Community High School and earned his B.A. at Trinity College (now Trinity International University) in Bannockburn, Illinois.
Chris currently resides in Morris, Ill. Dave and his family live in bucolic Palmdale, Ca. So there.
